If that didn't start the song playing in your mind then you have issues. Just kidding :)
Josh used to always quote this to me when we first started dating. I'd be worried and stressed out about a test and he'd look at me a smile and say "Hakuna Matata, Gorgeousness (that's what he calls me)".
Even if I knew that it meant "no worries", it wouldn't really help the situation at hand or how I felt about it - because I didn't want it to help. Sometimes I get caught up in the worrying and the fretting and a small part of me doesn't want to stop. If I can't control the situation itself, then by golly, I'm going to worry and fret because that's something I can control.
The last couple of nights have been rough because I've woken up at early hours, for no reason, and with no easy way to fall back asleep. In the still and the quiet, the worries attack.
"How are you going to manage this, do you realize you're giving up sleeping through the night for forever, here goes sleeping in on the weekends, what if the hospital sucks, what if you're on your own as new parents with no help..." etc..
It would go on like that for hours if it hadn't dawned on me that these thoughts are from God. These worries and fears are not of the mind of Christ. In fact His word tells us in Matthew 6:34 that "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" So I did something different - I began to pray. And I prayed until I fell asleep.
As a slight control freak, I don't like change. In fact I detest it. But this is where God is growing me again. This child is about to change my life in a big big way - in fact it already has changed in many ways. I guess I am thankful that we have 9 or so months to adjust to the idea of being a parent. Can you imagine? Waking up one day with a little bundle in the next room and thinking "Where'd that come from??".
There are times where I feel so inadequate to be entrusted with this little bundle. At times I feel like I'm still a child myself in many ways and still learning about the world and my faith. But God knows us best, and he gives us what we need when we need it. We are so excited for our little one to show up in May, and I'm praying for a safe and healthy pregnancy and baby from now until then!
We went to the doctor last week and we heard the heartbeat for the first time. It was an amazing experience and both of us got lumps in our throats. Our next appointment is in about 2 and a half weeks and sometime in December we will go for the sonogram. Hopefully then, we can find out if it's a boy or a girl!
How far
along: 13 weeks, 4 days
Total weight
gain: 2-3 pounds give or take
Maternity
clothes: some shirts
Stretch
marks: nope
Sleep: Comes and goes
Best moment
of this week: Monday was just awesome - felt great, felt positive!
Miss
anything: the occasional glass of red wine
Movement: ....not sure if it was movement or a gas bubble.. ;)
Food
cravings: depends on the day. Today's craving is sushi!
Anything
make you queasy or sick: still eggs at times, too much milk...
Have you
started to show yet: People say yes.
Gender: hoping for a Boy!
Labor signs: Nope
Belly button
in or out: In!
Wedding
rings on or off: On!
Happy or
moody most of the time: This week has been focused on being Joyful, no matter the circumstances.
